(originally posted on www.theydontlikeitupem.co.uk on1st February 2010)
You might have noticed a big gap there between blog posts. Those of you who know me, know that I have cyclothymia. Sometimes I'm up, a 'normal' functioning human being. Sometimes I'm hyper, mega-creative, pinging from one idea to another, talking a million miles an hour. And sometimes I'm down - the black brooding storm clouds arrive, they descend on me smothering hope, leaving me paralysed, freezing me in time where minutes drift into hours, days, weeks.....where I don't have the energy to fight, to cope, to be.
But do you know what, the clouds are clearing, in my head and outside the house and albeit as per usual I've had to start my 'new year' in February, I've got a feeling that 2010 is going to be a good year and I'm choosing to live again and see what it throws my way.Ps. If you've ever felt totally without hope, then this letter from Stephen Fry to Crystal Nunn is probably one of the best, most eloquent, most understanding things ever written about depression (including cyclothymia and bi-polar) and everyone in the world should read it to get a better understanding that It Will Be Sunny One Day.