One of my goals for 2011 is to reconnect with fashion and make-up. That sounds fancy schmancy doesn't it.
It hit me about a month ago. My burlesque me has beautiful evening wear, shoes, accessories. But my other half has a large collection of baggy, faded t-shirts and yoga 'pants' (sorry I will never be able to say 'pants' instead of trousers like the Americans do without sniggering).
When I was a teenager and then again for a brief period of time in the early 90's I adored fashion and experimenting with make-up. I used to pore endlessly over fashion and celebrity magazines, looking at who was wearing what, getting excited about colours and shapes and how things were combined.
Somewhere along the line I've lost this love of pretty things and having fun with clothes. Look at the mess my last make-up consultation left me in:
That make-up artist was RUBBISH! I'm not going to her again...
Even as my burlesque me, I have two standard make-up looks - a 50's based pin-up something like this and then my stage make-up which I've developed from watching tons of drag make-up tutorials on youtube. It seems ridiculous that even my burlesque me seems stuck in a bit of a rut.
I used to spend hours in front of the mirror as a teenager trying different colours and techniques out - and hours in Boots (a British Walgreens) choosing the newest and sparkliest makeup.
OK so now I'm a 42 year old mother of two, so I have other commitments - but my putting others first combined with my mental health problems in recent years convincing myself that I was worthless and not deserving of being able to feel special have meant that I haven't had any fun with fashion or make-up for years.
Well, enough is enough!
- I am a woman.
- I deserve to spend some time and care on myself.
- I will feel better about myself if I don't just throw on my scruffiest baggiest Green Day t-shirts and jogging bottoms in the mornings.
I need a style make-over, my wardrobe needs a kick up the behind - and as I keep saying, I want to have some fun again.
So I've been to library (I can't bring myself to buy lots of fashion magazines yet because my head still isn't quite getting around being able to spend money on myself - plus, and this is some serious warped logic, I figure I'd rather spend money on clothes, accessories and make-up than magazines and I've got the internet at my disposal now, something I never had at 17). I know, I know, I'm such a swot - my answer to everything is research, I'm afraid it's in my genes (though not my jeans) and I'm too stuck in my ways to just go and take a punt without advice from some experts.
So I'm armed with some info. and the good thing about this research is that I'm actually killing 2 birds with one stone - I'm getting some ideas before the next stage in my journey AND reading about fashion, style, hair and make-up is fun :)
To help with the mission, I thought I'd better do what they do on all good makeover programmes (and probably some bad ones) - find out what clothes I've got, get what I've got organised and also, because I'm pretty sure I want to make some of my clothes - organise my material/fabric stash.
So after a bit of a throw out and an organise this is now my non-burlesque side of the walk-in closet:
Actually, looking at that photo I can see at least 4 items that are burlesque wear....and to be honest, this could do with a bit more thinning out - there are at least 8 items I can see there that I'm pretty sure no longer fit me and I haven't worn for years, but I couldn't bring myself to throw out yet (and by that I mean take to the charity shops/thrift stores obviously). Let alone probably some items that don't flatter my shape etc. I might just have to take some baby-steps on this one to start with...
There's also a chest of drawers with 2 drawers of faded baggy t-shirts, and horribly mis-shapen sleeveless tops and vests. Plus a drawer of multiple black M&S knickers and 2 bras....yep, just the 2. A faded blue shabby daytime one that is well past it's sell by date but it fits....sort of, and a horrible effort of a sports bra. In another drawer are about 12 embellished, embroidered, bejewelled, fringed etc bras that I wear performing or attending burlesque shows...yep, 2011 is definitely the year when we've got to get both sides of my life more in balance, I need to feel more womanly and confident all the time!
Here's my burlesque side of the closet:
There are one or two dresses I'll wear day-to-day from this side of the room, and that has to be a positive start. I'm not going to ever find myself walking down the street in my Dalek costume or dressed as Jessie the Cowgirl - but the more the two halves can interchange and be one (I don't ever want you to think I'm a Sybil) the better and probably healthier. I'd really like to be able to leave the house one day on my own without having to 'put on' my bulresque head to keep me safe.
(Hey look at this, you're getting a nose around my closets and to sit in on a therapy session haha!)
As I said, I also sorted out my fabrics stash. This has been annoying me for ages not knowing exactly what I had because it was hidden away in 3 suitcases and a chest of drawers, so first of all I got everything out so I could see what I had:
AND THEN, I put it all away tidily in my Christmas present from the wonderful Mr Devyne:
I love this, it's a perfect height for cutting out pattern pieces too! We spotted it in the IKEA seconds area reduced in price because it had been on display. I absobloominglutely love it :)
So anyway, I now know what I've got. Now I need to formalise what I want my goals to be to help me reconnect with fashion and make-up (and to write them in a way that I've have something concrete to work towards) but it's becoming clearer in my mind, and I'll let you know exactly what I come up with alongside my other goals at the end of this week.
What fun :)
Other bloggers making fun resolutions/goals/getting organised for 2011 you might want to check out: