Do you know when you're lying in bed, feeling satisfied that you've got something done......and the little nagging voices start:
"You forgot to do this...."
"You forgot to do that...."
This was me last last night.
I'd written the obligatory start of the year plan/goals/resolutions. I'd published it online. It had been a hectic as yesterday was the last day of Mr. D's vacation (ok Brits: 'holidays') and we were all shattered from staying up past midnight to welcome in the New Year. I'd written it in bits from scrappy notes I'd been making for a while, whilst Melchett kept trying to get me to come and play Monopoly with her on our ipad (only 99 cents on iTunes at the moment - a serious bargain and worthwhile purchase....Scrabble for the ipad is only 99 cents too).
Aaaaayway, I forgot to add one important goal and 2 resolutions to yesterday's list. And they're ones that I meant to add. So here's are the last few additions. (Yes, I said this is it now brain, no more....anything else we'll tackle next year!).
The extra highly important goal for 2012:
- Conquer my fear of American healthcare: I've never been a fan of all things medical. On my GP (family doctor) notes in the UK there's a large banner heading that indicates I suffer from white coat syndrome and that this should be taken into account when my blood pressure is taken. Indeed, during both pregnancies my community midwives only used to rely on the blood pressure readings taken on home visits as opposed to ones at the GP surgery. When we came to the USA on a 2 year contract I persuaded myself that all would be ok, we'd only be here for a certain amount of time so I'd be able to get back to the NHS and the medical/optical/dentistry ways I'd grown up to know and love, erm appreciate. When we popped back in the first summer for my parents-in-laws wedding anniversary, we even went for a check-up at our old British dentist. But now we've moved to the USA...
(the reality has just hit me....that and I'm such a hammy actress)
...it's time I put aside my fears about the incredibly disjointed, confusing and frankly, darn right scary American healthcare system.....because I'm stuck with it.
My fear and confusion is based on limited experiences with it already in the first 2 years (including being sent for a full internal ultrasound test when I went to doctor about a existing sciatica problem....yes, they stuck a big ultrasound wand up me because I went to the doctor about my back....and that was only one test of a whole series I was sent for that took nearly 2 days....that's had me freaked out for a while now. Whether its true or not, I'm convinced that there's a culture of sending you for every test imaginable to protect doctors from accusations about undiagnosed problems).
But there are things I NEED to get sorted. I haven't had a smear test in over 2 years now, so I'm well due. I've had one mammogram, but there doesn't seem to be a system of reminding you when you need your next over here....so I need to get this sorted, and possibly book another one. I can't remember for the life of me how regularly you're meant to have them over 40.
I need to find a decent dentist for me and my family (we've been trying with this one, and have already found a bad one) especially as Goth Child has grown a fang above her existing row of teeth. Basically I need to try and understand everything over here. I need to accept that everything over here is massively clinical, bright white. Healthcare in the UK is so straightforward. But it's time I start doing my research to understand who I need to go see for what, what they're called, how everything works.....no longer do you just go to your GP, them dealing with 80% of your issues and anything else, they make appointments for you to go to see a specialist at the local hospital......here there are THOUSANDS of specialists, all with their own businesses and buildings, and all the leg work is up to you.
Confused, frightened, befuddled.....yep, that's me (and look, wouldn't you know it, my daughters are hammy actresses too):
This isn't going to be easy, but it needs to be done. If you have a blood test or smear here, you have to go to specialists too - they're not things you pop down to the GP surgery for the practice nurse to do.
Aaaaanyway. As you can tell from my overlong ramblings. This is going to be a big thing. But unfortunately, it has to be done. (I don't want to end up like Pat Evans and any medical interventions being too little, too late. Yes, I know, I take EastEnders waaaay too seriously). I suspect I will be asking a lot of 'dumb' questions to American friends to help point me in the right direction. And I thought asking for things in DIY superstores when they're called different things over here was difficult!
My two (and only) New Year's Resolutions:
- Laundry. To be done on the same day. When I do the washing, I will wash, dry, fold, press (if necessary) and PUT AWAY all on the same day. I will not have piles of clothes to be folded and put away hanging around the house for days on end. It gets me stressed....so no more! I may be clever with this and perhaps do smaller loads more regularly. That might help....
- To try and stay more focused and not get waylaid by distractions. A woman's ability to megamultitask is a myth. I am an Olympic gold medal flitter and faffer abouter. Amazingly I DO manage to get things done, but I will flit from one thing to the next and get distracted (and manage to justify) by tons of things that don't move me forward. I need to be organised and more focused, do one thing at a time and not get distrac................oooh looook it's a tiny little tired kitty....
Erm, anyway.....those are the things, yesterday and today that I want to do in 2012. It's sort of a plan, though a rather rambling one. I might have to make myself a manifesto for 2012 like this glorious one Aileen and Creating Clever has done:
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