Those of you who've known me for a while know that since I started getting me life back together (ie. got a diagnosis for my cyclothymia etc and started CBT and sessions with a pyschotherapist.....moving to America....etc) that I try to live my life now by the the catchphrase:
"Life's too short not to (insert mad thing here, especially if it's something I haven't done before)".
When I was stuck within the four walls of my house, afraid to drive to the supermarket because what if I couldn't find a parking space, afraid to go to the school yard because what if another parent starting talking to me, afraid to go anywhere because there might be crowds or worse still noise.....I was afraid to live.
I most definitely still have bad days/weeks/months.....but at least most of the time I am aware of what I'm doing, am aware of what I'm missing out on....and know if I want to, I can take some action to make things better. (Bear in mind that with depression, sometimes it is ABSOLUTELY fine to give in to the dark cloud, as long as you set it short fixed time limits).
And luckily I have Mr D, and Goth Child, and Melchett, who amazingly are as silly as I am and can get me out of the house to do silly stuff when I let them know I'm slipping and don't want to slip right now.
Like rolling down hills....
OK, so most 44 year old Mums wouldn't roll down hills (with cars drive past, drivers amazed), but I give you that as Exhibit A. Notice how the 'woman' rolls arms and elbows in, head slightly raised, laughing her head pff....but still cautious. Then I present to you Exhibit B - the 9 year old rolling down a hill:
We did this about a month ago, but with evidence of abandon of care like this, do you think it's any wonder she might now have broken her foot?